Burger King Bathroom Variant, by Tubbs

The following came off of Greg Duenow's Facebook profile. I'm amazed...

I used to be a Diplomacy junkie. Knew all the lepantos. Knew all the stalemates. I could talk a n00b into eviserating himself with glee on my nemesis' blade. Those glory days were good. But these glory days are even better. Find a used ketchup packet on the floor of your local Burger King. Get a pickle chip from somebody's hamburger when they aren't looking. Now find someone to go into the bathroom with you. This usually takes the most out of me. Using all the right phrases like, "It'll change your life", "Can't figure it out, mumble mumble", and "fornicating platipi". But eventually someone will go in. Now the game setup. Drop the used ketchup packet exactly 4 inches from the urinal. If there are more than one urinal, pick the smellier. Then take the pickle chip and fling it at the person's forehead. If it sticks and they don't notice, dance like a retarded bear. If they get mad, take a running start and head butt them in the chest, wrestle them to the ground, and dunk their head in the toilet. Stand up, pointing at the ketchup packet, and scream, "Platipi my ass! You've always been canned soup and burning sensation"! If they get confused and/or try to walk out, slowly mock them. Make the same movements they do, 4 feet behind them. If they use one of them pocket phones, make noises like, "beep, boop, beep bip, boop". If they say "the cops are coming", say, "da crops der brummink". Try to stay behind them. If they start going in the circles, try to make the puke come out. If the cops do show up say, "whew, I thought you'd never show up", and claim that you called them, and the other person is crazy. If you go to jail, you lose. If the other person goes to jail, you win. If neither happens, start over. Probably in another Burger King. Tubbs